I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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