I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
zippers are such a cool invention
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
