ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
