I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize