He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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