i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
