I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
last night I used snow as a chaser
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