Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize