Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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