ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
