I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
