We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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