I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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