i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
