everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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