The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
