it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
