is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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