I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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