i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
