All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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