this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize