Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
