Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
