So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
