You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
