I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
