The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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