I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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