Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
