I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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