you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
