roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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