R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If that was your dad, he is hot
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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