how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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