I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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