CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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