even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just had sex on a roof
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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