I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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