**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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