dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
