im drinking this country out of the recession.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
