I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
