"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
