My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
