just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
