I look better un-naked...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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