He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
