I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't think brook has ever known best
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
