he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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