my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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