ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Its about making memories worth repressing
I've blown a few things in my day
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
