Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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