Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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