Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
