i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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