North Korea, Best Korea!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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