Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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