I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
