brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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