So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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