so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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