real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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