like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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