..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
