The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
