Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
