woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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