i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
