I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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