so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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