It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
