where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
